My parents were old school. As I was growing up, they took great care of my four sisters and me. We always had hot, homecooked meals. They worked really hard to make sure that we had everything we needed and a little extra. They instilled good values in us. We knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that they loved us. But, my parents both grew up in a time that, unfortunately, taught them some myths. A time of segregation. A time where racial injustices were at an all time high. When they had to cross the street, and where some places were off limits because of the color of their skin. Times that they had to fear for their lives.
I remember moving into a neighborhood at eight years old where there were eight White families and four Black families on our block. Before too long, this flip flopped. I was too young to understand what had occurred. At this point in life, I had not experienced racism. I didn’t know anything about discrimination. All I knew was that I was supposed to respect people, especially my elders. It wasn’t until I was older that I understood why my parents would sometimes tell me or my sisters, “Be quiet so you don’t disturb those White people!” It would anger me. I didn’t understand why the fact that they were White meant that I had to respect them any more than I would respect anyone else. I was a vocal child. I was always the one who was going to speak my mind. It got me in trouble sometimes, but it didn’t deter me.
If I were to give my young self advice, it would go something like this. “Young lady, you are very valuable. You are about to go out into the world soon, and you need to understand a few things. Though you are extremely bright and have done well educationally, you must continue to work hard and don’t let anything get in your way. There will be distractions, but if you keep your goals in mind, that is what will help you stay on track. You have not had to deal with things like prejudice or racism so far, but you will now be exposed to many more people from various backgrounds. You are bound to run up against these things. Do not allow anything to cause you to act out of character. Operate in the values that have been instilled in you. Be assertive, but tactful. Be respectful, but do not allow anyone to harm or mistreat you. Take whatever measures necessary to defend and protect yourself. I want you to understand that you have every right to be where you are whether it’s a classroom, a boardroom or whatever profession you choose. Never let anyone tell you that you are not worthy. You are just as good as anyone else, and you deserve to take advantage of every opportunity you have worked so hard to receive. Do not allow the despicable actions of others cause you to become bitter, or to isolate yourself. You are destined for greatness. Keep close to your faith. That is where you will draw strength, strategies and solutions. Love yourself. Before you expend time and energy helping others, make sure that you are taking care of you.”
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